Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in Jessica's LiveJournal:

Thursday, August 9th, 2001
1:12 am	DePrEsSeD MaYnN... RiTe NoW I'm So DePrEsSeD!! I HaVeN't FeLt DiZ Way In a LoNg-A$$ TiMe EiThEr! I HaTe DiZ fEeLiNg... I HaTe FeELiN' SoRrIe FoR MaHsElF.. I MeAn, IsH NoT LyKe BeIn' DePrEsSeD WiLL GeT YoOh AnYwHeRe, RiTe?! MaYnN, DiZ Is So StUpId... I DoN't rEaLLy EvEn HaVe a ReAsOn TeW BeEh DePrEsSeD, ExCePt FoR Da FaCt DaT I DoN't HaVe a BoYfRiEnD, AnD I pRoLLy NeVeR WiLL EiThEr! GeEz... I KnOe DaT I'm StiLL YoUnG AnD aLL, BuH StiLL! In MaH WhoLe 13 YeArZ Of An ExCuSe FoR a LyFe, OnLeE 3 GuYz HaVe LyKeD MeEh! HoW SaD Is DaT?! OkAi, So MaYbEeH DaT IsN't SuCh a BiG DeaL TeW EvErYoNe eLsE, BuH It Is TeW MeEh! AcTuALLy, It DoEsN't MaTtEr 'BoUt Da NuMbEr oF GuYz WhO'vE LyKeD MeEh... I GueSs WhA I rEaLLy WaNt Is JuSs TeW fEeL LoVeD, TeW BeEh KaReD FoR... TeW KnOe DaT TeW SuMoNe OuT DeRe, YoOh MeAn SoMeThInG TeW Dem.. I MeAn, IsH rEaLLy HaRd NoT TeW fEEL DaT WhEn YoU'rE SuRrOuNdEd By aLL DeSe KuPpLeS AnD StUfF.. WhIcH I Am! I KnOe DaT EvEnTuAlLY YoOh GeT HuRt In a ReLaTiOnShIp, BuH MaYbEeH It WoUlD BeEh WoRtH It! I KnOe Ir WaSn'T WoRth It WhEn I WeNt OuT WiD NaThAn, cuZ WhEn I FoUnD OuT WhA HaD BeEn GoInG On, NoThInG eLsE rEaLLy MaTtEreD... aLL DaT MaTtErEd WaS Da HeArTbReAkING ThInG He HaD DoNe TeW MeEh - I JuSs CoUlDn't SeE PaSt DaT! AnD CaN AnYoNe bLaMe MeEh? I MeAn, If He HaD LyKeD MeEh aT aLL, He NeVeR WoULd'Ve DoNe It! AcTuAlLY, If He HaD AnY iDeA I HaVe fEeLiNgs, He WoULdN't HaVe DoNe It! OkAi, OkAi... I BeTtA StOp TaLkIn' BoUt DaT ShItHeAd NoW! MaNdErZ... WeLLz DiZ Is GeTtIn' PrEtTy BoRiN' So ImMz BiZoUnCe OuTta HeA.. LaTeZ, JeSsIcA Current Mood: depressed Current Music: "YoUr LeTtEr" By 112 (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 7th, 2001
12:49 pm	*SIGHZ* Today was hekka boring!! And damn, since my computer's still messed up, I hafta only use da keyboard - *yuck*! Now it takez meeh, lyke, 10 freakin' minutes tew read one email! Besides dat, stupid MSN messed up, and I can't chat newaize!! Ohh no... I can feel my life slippin' away from meeh!! *LOL* Newaize, Imma beeh goin' tew Las Vegas in a day.. I don't really want tew anymore - All I wanna do is stay home and kick bak, which meanz talkin' on da phone, watchin' TV, and sittin' on my lazy ass all day!! I'm so serious! Buh yeah... Maybe da kute guyz dere will make up for it! *Hehe* Wellz, Brianne'd b-day party was today.. It was pretty coo, especially when we went tew da movies tew see Dr. Dolittle! I knoe dat soundz real babyish and crap, buh who cares - it was hekka funnie!! *LOL* "What am I supposed tew do widout my cell phone?!" Dayum, I juss got dat stuck in my head right now!! *LOL* Geez, Alyssa was laughin' da whole time!! And oh maynn, her b-day cake was *YUMMY*!!! Mmmmmmmmm, I want some more!! She also lyked da present I gave her, so das coo... Oh yeah, we didn't go for a walk today so dat sucks.. I REALLY need my excercise, and I might have gotten tew see a kutie!! *Hehe* Wellz, Imma bizounce outta hea now! Much Mahalz, Jessica Current Mood: bored Current Music: "Playas Gon' Play" - 3LW (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 2nd, 2001
12:53 pm	MAYNN!! Az yooh can see, my current mood is "touched", buh ish not da way yooh think it would beeh!! *LOL* Okai, so rite now I actually am being touched - physically, I mean! And for all yooh peepz wid nasty minds, I don't mean it dat way!! What I meant by dat, is dat my stupid cousin and brother are poking meeh to death over here!! Oww.. It's not even tickling anymore, cuz dere doin' it tew much!!! Hehe... Newaize, Imma get off dat subject before people think I'm TOO weird... *hehe* So... Today was kinda boring, cuz all I did was juss talk on da phone... Buh I didn't talk tew Abby today, so I didn't get hyper... =( I talked tew Jennifer though, buh we were both kinda depressed about certain stuff... *GROWLZ* Whoops! Soree about dat, it was my stomach.. I'm soo hungry right now!! Aww, crap.. I can't stay for much longer, cuz my bro and cousin wanna get on Newgrounds.com tew watch some funnie movies.. *hehe* Okai, I'll admit it - they got some pretty good stuff on dere.. Oh yeah, and if any of yooh people are readin' dis and wanna check out dis site? Well, yooh HAFTA watch da lil parody of da Pillberry Doughboy! *LMAO* Whoa, dat was good! *LOL* Wellz, Imma bounce... One hug, one kiss, and I'm out lyke dis! *MWUAH* Much Mahalz, Jessica Current Mood: touched Current Music: the sweet music of my brother and cousin laughing (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 1st, 2001
1:14 am	Geez... Can today get any more depressing?! I mean, I'm sitting here practically crying over a stupid guy!! Okai, so he's not really stupid, buh - Oh, nevermind, I take dat bak... He is kinda stupid!!! Buh still, he is just a guy! It's not lyke he's my whole life... So why da hell does it feel lyke dat sometimez? I mean, it's just not fair how some people are so lucky about having that special sumone to care for, to love, and to beeh their whole world - and knowing dat da person feelz da exact same way.. I've NEVER felt dis way, buh all my life I've seen people dat are dat lucky.. And ish even harder now, cuz now my friendz are startin' tew have boyfriendz who care about them, too... And it just really hurts having to see them, when I know I can't have dat rite now, and probably won't for a long time!! Yeah, I've had a "boyfriend" before, buh I don't even wanna count dat, since it didn't seem lyke da "real thing", ya knoe? I guess I felt lyke dat, cuz he didn't even lyke meeh when we were goin' out.. He could beeh so sweet sometimez, buh about after a week, people were coming up tew meeh and telling meeh dat he liked Lila, and was saying dat he was gonna go after her after I dumped him... And tew beeh rejected lyke dat by another guy, it just broke my heart! Although I didn't show it tew my friendz, it really did hurt meeh, even though on da inside, it was killing meeh when I broke up wid him.. And not juss cuz at da time, I lyked him a lot, buh cuz I can't stand getting rejected... It hurtz so much, buh what can I do about it, right? Shit happenz... Now I'm over dat guy I went out wid, buh I lyke anudder guy... And da crush is even worse, cuz I've lyked him da most out of EVERY SINGLE GUY I've lyked.. I knoe dat doesn't seem lyke I'm saying very much, buh it's juss so weird.. I told him I lyked him myself, buh since it was over da phone, I didn't give him a chance tew say anything, cuz I hung up right after.. Buh then he kalled my friend Abigail, and told her what happened.. She asked him what he sed, buh told her dat I didn't give him a chance tew say anything. Then he told her all dis stuff about not wanting tew go out wid meeh, cuz he'll beeh a freshman, and I'll beeh an eighth-grader, and we'd never see each udder.. Buh he never sed straight-out if he lyked meeh or not.. I had sum hope bak then, buh now everything juss seemz so... hopeless!! I mean, I've tried, I made da first move - buh nothing happened.. And I really think dat if sumthin' could have happened between us, it would have happened by now... Right? So das it for meeh!! No more makin' da first move, no more kallin' dem up... It's over! Cuz every time I try, I only end up gettin' hurt - and who wantz tew get hurt, right? Sometimez, I even think dere's no reason in my life anymore.. What am I living for newaize? Is dere really sumone out dere? Or am I juss gonna live da rest of my pathetic life gettin' hurt? Life juss seemz so worthless sometimez.. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: "Crazy" by K-Ci and Jojo (Comment on this)